skating on mud

meant to post tis last night but my network was lagging big time and i cant log on to blogger. dont know what crap happened.

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tuesday, 2 august 2005

today i mourn the loss of an auntie. a paternal auntie. i called her ah bor4 (4? think hanyu pinyin. its the way hainanese address dad's elder sis). she has been ill for the last couple of months. i was hoping i can make it back to see her which is soon. apparently, she cant hold it anymore. i guess nothing is for certain, nothing can wait. i was already saddened by her demise and then even more when mom told me that she asked for me. her doctor in charge asked ard the relatives if my ah bor4 hasnt seen anyone yet cos she seems to be hanging on for something. her prognosis wasnt good to start with. her carcinoma had spread to her lungs and liver and she was in great pain. on friday, she asked where was i (she knows i'm in syd. she thought i'm back already??!!?? maybe). my dad told her i'll be coming back soon and she replied good. its trivial but i cried when i heard that from mom. i felt so sad that i wasnt by her deathbed. though all my ah bors have high expectations of me, they dote on me a plentiful. and strange enough, why didnt anyone inform me of her passing on saturday but till today.

ah gong1 knows nothing abt it. yep, keep it that way. ignorance is bliss. he's too old for sucha news. ah gong1 is in hainan island so its okay, he wont find out unless someone tells him. i wont spare that person if he or she tells. why must tell? wanna drive the old man to his grave issit? talking of ah gong1, he's my only granddad (literally) cos my maternal granddad passed away before i was born. i only saw his photos and heard many stories of him.

one of my most vivid memories of ah gong1 is, he was the one who send me to school everyday and carries my schoolbag (he never let me carry it. talking abt being spoilt :P). whenever it rains, the path to school will become super duper muddy and floody and that dirtied my very polished white bata shoes. so ah gong1 thought of an ingenious way. he let me wear plastic bags over my shoes. oh ho ho, that was cool and fun, so i thought. ah gong1 is so smart. i couldnt have thought of it. so thats what an adult is capable of?! i want to be as old as ah gong1. haha!

well, the cool idea didnt work. ermmm, yes, it kept my shoes as white as paper BUT i couldnt walk, i was like sliding, skating, whatever u call it. ah gong1 has to support my arms as i waddled through mud and floods, hoping i wont fall. i looked like i was learning to skate. it took us so long to get to school that i was late for assembly. >:( i decided that walking in plastic bags is not cool at all.

ah gong1 then came up with another idea to keep my shoes white and dry. i'd wear thongs and then change into my bata when i get to school. he'd first bring me to the taps to wash off the mud and dirt before helping me change into my bata. *bliss* *more memories flooding my mind now*

though i spent alot of time with ah gong1, my hainanese still cant survive a decent conversation with relatives. the annual chinese new year gathering is my hainanese proficiency exam. i always flunk it. *shame*

the above is a good example of the human brain responding to think of good memories in the midst of sadness.

my thought of the day: life is fragile. for a second, u feel the presence of that someone and before the next second, that someone is gone.